If you can't relate to nasty close calls or stories involving doody, I'm giving you fair warning to click "back" on your browser now.  For those of you still with me, enjoy this story of hope, intrigue and failure.  Oh, and again,  doody.

The face of a desperate man...
-Charleston Police Dept.

Ronnie Lee Warfield was staying at the Francis Marion Hotel in Charleston, South Carolina last Sunday.  When he got back to his hotel at 3:45am, he got an unexpected "emergency call" from Mother Nature; the kind of call you don't you send to voicemail....

Since he knew he wouldn't be able to make it to his room, he made the snap decision to use the lobby bathroom.  But since he had trouble punching in the code to gain access, Ronnie panicked and did the only thing that made sense that second; drop his pants and drop it like it smells-cuz it did.

Hotel security called police, who promptly responded and reported a "large quantity of fecal matter" just steps from the bathroom.  It's the same bathroom where Ronnie was found cleaning himself in a stall.  He told police, "I didn't mean to do it.  I couldn't hold it!"  He also told hotel staff he "can clean it up."  Instead he was arrested and charged with public defecation and indecent exposure.


Now, maybe it's because I've had more than one "photo finish" racing to the bathroom, but I take sympathy on this man.  It's a crappy(pun intended) situation to find yourself!  What do you do if you're this guy??  Do you fill your pants and shoes and trail it back to your room?  Ask for a cup?  And If it really was an accident, did he deserve to get arrested???