These Guys Are “Crappy” Criminals

Poopers keepers, losers weepers; its a new twist on an old favorite, though only half of it is accurate in this story.

Bryan Ford and his girlfrien Christina Schlegel

were out and about in Orem, Utah apparently looking for something to swipe, when they came across a Zales jewelery store. Their target was a double-band wedding ring, valued at a couple thousand dollars.  Bryan managed to steal it, but when security guards noticed him, he made a dash to a waiting car with Christina behind the wheel, who promptly swallowed it.  They didn't get far as local police were able to track down their car.

Fast forward to the police station where an x-ray was performed, confirming that Christina was indeed trying in vein to digest her "precious."  Police waited for her to "pass the evidence" into a toilet that doesn't flush, but their "duty"(ha!) does not include sifting through other people's dooky.  So Christina got to slip on some gloves and poke through her poo, since, as one officer noted, “We don’t get paid enough to dig through people’s bowel movements,”

Both have been charged with felony theft.

Check out more on the story here(NYDailyNews)