4 Local Celebrities Who Should Totally Run For Mayor Of Rochester
With our longtime mayor Ardell Brede choosing not to run for reelection next year, the field for the next leader of the Med City is wide open. I’m sure a few qualified candidates will eventually present themselves, but why vote for someone who knows what they're doing when we can get a candidate with pizzazz?
- Marcus Sherels
Current Occupation: Cornerback / Return specialist for the Minnesota Vikings
Why He Should Run: I mean, he’s already pretty good at running. He currently ranks second in franchise history with a 10.2 career punt return average, and as of this writing has 5 career punt return touchdowns – a franchise record. He also might be a Super Bowl champion in the coming weeks. Let’s not jinx anything. Oh yeah, he also attended John Marshall High School.
Campaign Slogan: “Much Like How I Return The Football For Minnesota, I Am Returning To Rochester, Which Is A City In Minnesota. TOUCHDOWN!”
- Slider
Current Occupation: Official Mascot of the Rochester Honkers
Why He/She/It Should Run: There are currently no rules that a person with a baseball for a head cannot run for mayor. I hear he has very progressive views on infrastructure.
Campaign Slogan: “I Will Go To Bat For The City Of Rochester!”
- 2nd Street Sign Guy
Current Occupation: Sign Waving Enthusiast (2nd Street Division)
Why He Should Run: Just look at that dude. He's the Real American this city needs.
Campaign Slogan: *holds up sign*
- Lea Thompson
Current Occupation: Actress, Marty's Mom
Why She Should Run: She was born in Rochester. My political standards aren't very high.
Campaign Slogan: “I Will Take Rochester Back…*puts on sunglasses*…To The Future.”
What do you say we do some polling? If the election was held TODAY, who would get your vote?