Minnesotans Who Ate These Veggies Should Find A Toilet ASAP
More than 200 Americans have had a rough surprise after doing something that's normally a good decision: eating their vegetables.
The Del Monte brand of plastic veggie trays (containing broccoli, cauliflower, celery, or carrots) have caused customers in Iowa, Michigan, Minnesota, and Wisconsin to become sickened with a nasty parasite infection known as cyclospora. Symptoms include diarrhea, frequent and explosive bowl movements, increased gas, nausea, fatigue, vomiting, body aches, headache, and fever. I eat basically nothing but cheese, so I'm pretty relieved.
The recalled vegetable trays have a "Best If Enjoyed By" date of June 17, 2018, and are usually sold at Kwik Trip. The first known infection is said to have begun on May 14, so if you've purchased any Del Monte products between then and now, you may want to toss 'em out just to be safe. You don't need any of that explosiveness in your life.
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