To the Mom That ‘Allows’ Her Kids to Call Their Stepmom ‘Mom’
I ran across a story on the Rochester Mom Blog that has me wanting to climb to the top of a mountain and scream "THANK YOU!" Her article, "My Kids Call Their Stepmom 'Mom'- And That’s Okay" touched me in so many ways, so I decided as the stepmom to talk about what it's like on our side of the world.
First and foremost, being a stepmom is by far the most challenging, BUT the most amazing thing I've ever been through. To all the stepmoms (and dads) out there, bravo to you - it's NOT easy.
Let's go back to the day it all happened to me. I remember this day like it was yesterday. It's the day I truly realized it wasn't just about me and the man I had fallen for, but this kid. This little boy was more important than any of that. He was 6 years old at the time and the sweetest little thing. He was always reaching to hold my hand, always wanting to be right next to me or on my lap everywhere we went. But until this day, I didn't realize just how much I meant to him.
He looked me in the eyes, and asked, "when can I call you mom?" I literally stopped in my tracks - I froze. His dad wasn't in the room - it was just the two of us. I didn't know how to answer that question. His dad and I weren't even engaged yet when this little guy was asking such a loaded question. Something none of us had even discussed yet.
The fact that he even asked was truly such an honor. I didn't carry this child for 9 months, I didn't hold him after his arrival and I didn't get to see his first step, but he viewed me as a mother figure in his life. He saw me in a light that I never saw myself. It was... terrifying, honestly. While I'm not his birth mom, the love I have for him is indescribable.
I truly can't imagine how it would feel hearing your child call someone else mom, and personally, I wouldn't want to have to go through it myself. It's understandable why it was such a trying time between his mom and me, damaging our relationship more than anything. BUT, where we are now compared to then, it's night and day. And the best part of it all, it's obvious that the four of us having a more civil relationship and making a team effort has had an extremely positive impact on little man's life.